


I Wish You The Very Best

by onlyushere



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Phone Calls, Reader-Insert, This was based on a poem, can you tell that I still don't know how to tag?, that actually made my heart hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyushere/pseuds/onlyushere
Summary: "She'll say 'we happened and we were important but you let me go, I'm sorry, but you let me go'." - Azra. T.OrShe was scared, and now it cost her everything.





	I Wish You The Very Best

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know, my dudes. Something came over me and made me write sad things. This is based on a poem I read a few years ago and it still makes me emotional. Someone tell me how I can make my writing better.

It's the moment when Alex tells her that you're seeing someone one and that you look so happy after a coming back to the apartment from mission one day that Kara stops in her tracks. The ice cream filled cone in her hands shatters into pieces from the sheer force of super-strength, the dessert falling to her lap as she processes her sisters words. She snaps out of her stupor when she realizes Alex has been calling out her name. 

"Are you okay?" She asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern as she gazes at her younger sister.

Am I okay? Kara questions herself, forcing her eyes to meet Alex's gaze, nodding her head while plastering an  ~~obviously fake (face it Kara, you know you can't lie to Alex)~~ smile on her face, one that doesn't completely reach her eyes. It's been months since the two of you ended things, weeks since anyone has mentioned your name around her. How Alex knows about your new relationship, she doesn't know but Alex was telling her now. Because Alex loved you too. Like you were her own sister after seeing just how much you cared about Kara.

"Yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I be?" She answers despite the evidence that was quite literally in and on her hands saying that she was anything but okay.

It's only when Alex leaves for the night and she's laying in bed with her phone in her hands, swiping through the old pictures of the two of you that she allows herself to remember everything she's ever loved about you. Everything she still loves.

-

You were _loyal_ and _honest_ and everything she had ever wanted to be. You were an book that was made for Kara's eyes. You smiled against her mouth when you kissed, you let her ramble on and on about her day, you held her tight when being Supergirl was too much. You were her home. 

You made her so _happy_. You made her happier than Mon-El ever could. The way you treated her outshone his best days even on your worst days. It was like Rao had created you just for her. Like the two of you being together had been the plan this whole time, that the universe conspired to make sure that you would be hers and that she would be yours. 

But for whatever reason, she let you go. Because she thought it was the right thing to do. Because things where to easy, things became comfortable too fast and too soon that it felt like she was suffocating. Maybe it was because Mon-El came back, but he was _married_ for christ's sake, but he was here and he was offering her an out to what she was feeling. For a little while she thought she knew exactly what she was doing.

_ "You're always with him, Kara. I never see you anymore. You're always busy with work or saving the city that when I get a single moment with you, you always end up ditching me for him. Did you forget that he left you? And suddenly now that he's back it's like we never even happened! He's married Kara, he has a **wife**." _

_ You didn't mean to start an argument, especially on the one night that Kara didn’t have to chase down a runaway criminal or alien. But you couldn't help it, it'd been weeks since Mon-El and Imra arrived on Earth and ever since then it felt like you had to make an appointment to see your girlfriend.  _

_ "Why are you getting so defensive? I know that, Y/N."  _

_ She brushed you off like what you were saying was nothing and you knew, simply by the way her arms crossed against her chest and the look in her eyes that she was preparing to defend herself.  _

_ "Because you're acting like you wouldn’t even care if I left and never came back!" _

_ "Then leave! I don't care where you go and I certainly don't care if you come back or not." _

_ You whimpered at her words, tears falling from your eyes as you shake your head. All the anger had dissipated, the last thing you wanted was for your relationship to fall apart but now it seems like it was doing exactly that. _

_ "You don't mean that Kara, please don’t say--"  _

_ "Clearly I mean it, Y/N! Rao, you're suffocating me. You always want me to be here, or whenever we're around Mon-El and Imra you get so defensive that I can't take it anymore. I can't be by your side all the time, I have responsibilities too."  _

_ It hurt more than you wanted to admit hearing those words come out of her mouth. You knew you couldn't stay. You weren't one to give up so easily but the distance and the tension between you and Kara had taken all the fight out of you. She had her mind made up, and nothing you say would make any difference. It was time for you to protect your heart. _

_ Maybe it was the adrenaline rushing through her veins that wouldn't let her lower the glare that was fixed on your crying eyes, which normally would soften immediately at the sight of seeing you so upset. So the glare stayed, it stayed even after you had packed a bag with the things you could take with you in the moment, it stayed long after you closed the door after whispering 'goodbye Kara', after you gave her a heartbreaking final glance, it stayed until the only thing left was Kara standing in her living room.  _

-

She closes her eyes as she remembers the words she yelled at you, unable to accept the fact that she had raised her voice at you and said things she didn't mean. She could've stopped you. Could've stopped you when you were packing your bag, could've called out your name as you walked out of the door, out of her life. But she didn't. 

She snapped at Mon-El weeks after you walked out of her life, the reality of the situation crashing down on her. She wanted someone to blame, so she blamed him. She blamed him, it was because of him that she pushed you away. It was because of him that you felt that you weren't loved, weren't wanted, weren't needed. She blamed him because she didn't want to blame herself.

So now she has to live with the fact that she can never touch you the way she used to, can never come home from a day of being Supergirl to you sleeping on the couch because you tried to wait up for her, can never make you laugh so hard you cried. The fact that she made you cry and hurt because she refused to see what was right in front of her when she had it. 

You promised never to hurt each other, but in the end that was your undoing. Promises were always made to be broken, but you wanted to believe that Kara, your Kara would never do something like that.

She can't stop herself from thinking about the 'what ifs'. What if she didn't give you up to be with Mon-El? What if she fought harder to get you back? What if she didn't tell you to leave and never speak to her ever again? _What if, **what** if, **what if she can still fix it?**_

-

Glancing at the phone in her hands, she knows what she has to do. It's late, but she knows that she _has to try._

-

You pick up on the third ring and suddenly it's like she forgot how to breathe.

"Hello?" 

"Y/N… Hi."

Hearing your voice on the other end of the line brings the smallest of smiles to her face. Cradling her phone against her ear, she leans back against the cushions.

"Kara.. What can I do for you?" You ask her, voice gentle and soft. Just like how you spoke to her when the two of you were wrapped up in-between the sheets, legs tangled together with your fingers running through her hair as you whispered _goodnights_ and _I love you_ to each other while you waited for sleep to take you under.

"I… I miss you, Y/N. It's been months and I know, I know what I said the last time we spoke things weren't great but I miss you." She lets out in one breath. It's silence on your end, and for a moment she thinks that you've hung up on her. Just when she's about to check, you say her name. Her heart soars that you were still there and still willing to listen to hear what she had to say, but then again, you never could deny yourself on all thing related to Kara. 

Her heart breaks at the tone of your voice. It's too soft and too gentle, too much like how a parent would speak to their child when explaining something serious. You sound gentle, but not in love with her anymore. Not like before.

"Kara… We happened. What we had was so important to me, you were so important to me, you were home to me. I loved you so much, Kara…" _Loved_. Past tense. As in, you loved her back then, but not anymore. Not like how she loves you now. She feels her heart crack even more at the word, tears welling up in her eyes as she stays quiet, knowing you had to say your piece.

"…But you let me go. You told me to leave. You left me because of him. Because you wanted to defend him. I saw the way he looked at you, I'm not stupid, Kara. He was still in love with you. But I loved you too and that wasn't enough for you to choose me. I'm sorry Kara, but we both know that it was over the moment you chose him over me."

Once the first tear fell, there was no stopping them. Just like how you cried so many months ago, there was no one there to wipe away her tears. You hear her choke back a cry as she tries but ultimately fails to regain her composure.

"No, I'm sorry. Of course, what was I thinking?" She says with a watery chuckle but you could hear the sadness seeping through. The tables were turned now, and it was you turning her down. You apologize to her once again, because you hated when people cried because of you. And that’s when she knows. That there was no returning things to how there once were, there was no getting you back.

You had moved on. Sure it had taken you months, but you were letting yourself be happy, something that you were afraid that you would never be able to feel again. Someone else was making you happy. Someone that wasn't Kara.

It wasn’t an alien that took you away from her. Not a freak accident that tore you from her side. Not Mon-El. No, it was just her. She was the one who pushed you away when she should've fought for you and in the end, it led to her own heartbreak.

"I wish you the very best, Kara Danvers." Is all she hears before the call drops. It was over.

_I already had the best and I was stupid enough to let it go._ She thinks to herself. _I was stupid enough to let you go._


End file.
